Reflections from the Night Before

[faewildmods]

J-Dawg

my bro from another ho

Puck

Did you get the name of that naiad last night?

J-Dawg

Are you fucking kidding me? I should punch you in the junk rn. My M O T H E R is livid

Puck

Oh, that explains a few things.

Puck

Uh, can you get someone with fire magic to come and help me de-ice the walls?

code

You wake up a little bleary-eyed and fuzzy-minded. It's strange. You don't really remembering overindulging last night, and yet here you are with the distinct sense that somehow you weren't making the best decisions. Faerie magic is funny like that.

But it's probably fine. It's not like you made any really poor life decisions, right? Like drunk-mirroring your fellow Faewild guests?

Oh. Oh no.

Better check your messages, and see what's in your Reflections from the Night Before.




All right, dears, you know the drill. Your characters have found themselves firing off (perhaps) ill-advised texts. Choose from the horrifying archive of text based debauchery or craft your own bespoke messages.

All threads in this post may be considered canon if all parties involved agree. All threads may be counted for Activity Check as well as Rewards.

Comments

Vex'ahlia | Critical Role

[stolentrinkets]

1. 5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.

2. He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra and I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.

3. I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.

4. That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.

5. Text her!

2

[dangerousnerd]

You opened the door. Completely Naked, might I add.

There was no way I was going to win that battle.

4.

[valsharess]

I agree, let us go and become mermaids; however, is it possible for us to perhaps err on the side of chaos and start luring men to their dooms? How much alcohol do we have to consume for that to be a viable option?

3

[charmperson]

Oh gods, no. No need to apologize. That is the exact correct response for those circumstances.

3.

[chosenkingoflucis]

Pretty sure there was no 'good' mentioned. Mornings are never, good. But I probably asked for it anyway.

Ellia Corrin | D&D OC

[wardingflare]

1. Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.

2. I need to get crying drunk at the tavern more often. I end up going home with guys who have big penises. It's like Bahamut is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up."

3. This weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity

4. Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"

5. Text her!

2

[charmperson]

You are gods blessed, Ellia. Nice to know Dragon Daddy is looking out for you even far from home.

I'm proud of you.

4

[makingmyway]

Well, at least it wasn’t blood. Unfortunate about the cupcake, though.

Snow Villiers | Final Fantasy 13 Trilogy | OTA

[heroofcocoon]

1. where did we go last night? there's paper all over my room & they're all wet.

2. Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah

3. My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.

4. I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"

4

[charmperson]

You know, that's a respectable goal. I support it. I believe in you.

2

[wardingflare]

I wouldn't call myself that fucked up. A bit, but not the most fucked up on the plant.

You, on the other hand...

Will Harper | Original D&D Character

[unwisely]

1. Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty wine bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.

2. In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing whiskey shots with my friends he dragged me into a closet and gave me a world shattering blow job. Honestly I'm in love.

3. We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.

4. I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.

5. I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the bakery, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table.'

6. Text him!

5. he absolutely knows his fiance

[rosepaean]

I think that I've become a bit fluent in Willow-speak, also it looks like you were attempting to type 'anal' that first part, until the drink convinced you to go off the rails.

Putting that chocolate liqueur in the coffee seems to bear interesting results, we could turn the Bakery into a Bacchanalia after 10pm if this keeps up.

4

[heroofcocoon]

On the list of things I never needed to know existed: that.

Tryst Cleary | Original D&D Character

[charmperson]

1. I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.

2. I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life.

3. She recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.

4. Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.

5. We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?

6. THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING.

7. Text him!

4

[wardingflare]

To the trained eye you look one one, too.

But in a good way.

Wednesday Addams | Wednesday

[ipreferspooky]

1. i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section

2. He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?

3. When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.

4. I'd rather shit a knife than sleep with you.

5. Text her.

[charmperson]

Poor wine pairing or bad poetry? Honestly, both are unforgivable.

Kristophe Fallon | D&D OC

[rosepaean]

1. We all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were the Midsummer Princess and that we were presenting you to the Summer Queen.

2. "Guess who is passed out underneath the table, purely by recognition of their legs alone" is not the game that I thought we'd be playing this night.

3. The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind.

4. Can you repeat that? But with context this time?

5. I let him eat cake off my abs, and it reminded me of those embarrassing photographs my mother took of me and my sister of our first our first birthday party.

6. I think that we should give the Helper Brownies extra cupcakes in recompense for what they walked in on last night.

OR TEXT HIM.

6

[unwisely]

Probably not a bad idea, if they ever show their faces again. I'm not sure I'd blame them if they didn't.

In our defense, there was significant artistry involved. They should appreciate that at least.

Lethica Nightborne | Legends of Avantris: Edge of Midnight

[valsharess]

1. Completely uncertain if wearing the witch's liver as a hat is such a good idea, but I will support you in your endeavors. (please do not get that thing near me, I do not want to wear it.)
II. I trust you, as well as five cups of the blackest coffee, will remind me of all the bad decisions that I have made this night.
III. Desperate times call for desperate measures, I have my tube of blood red lipstick tucked into my cleavage just in case I get so drunk that my mask comes off.
IV. I do not think that filling a children's pool with vodka and then attempting to snorkle counts as 'intended use'
V. I am afraid that you have not been sufficiently 'good' enough to have earned the strap. It would behoove you to further your attempts.
VI. A penis fly trap is as a penis fly trap does -
VII. His catholic guilt is strong, but I can assure you the flash of my pulse point is stronger.

+or text her!

VI

[unwisely]

I'll probably regret asking, but that's never stopped me yet.

What does it do?

Dorian Storm | Critical Role

[makingmyway]

1. How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you?

2. I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes.

3. I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me

4. This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I lost a peeing contest on a roof once.

5. That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."

6. Text him!

1

[charmperson]

I mean, I think typically it goes in the other order? But really, no wrong answer.

I mean, personally, I'm more in favor of sex first. There's something too intimate about kissing for comfort sometimes. That may just be me though.

Kaeya Alberich | Genshin Impact

[shadowsincryo]

01. Of course I was going to try the drink the bartender served. It was a rainbow! I couldn’t imagine the flavor.

02. No, no. You suggested we hang up the socks over the door. I said putting up a sign - completely drunk come back later - was better.

03. It’s a bit like being a storm in a poetic sense. Not unpleasant just strange.

04. I stand by my stance. Building a map out of bread and cheese on the bar was absolutely perfect. And a great snack.

05. Now, I can’t promise we can figure out riding kelpies. But, I can melt metal now.

1

[rosepaean]

If they are especially talented, maybe it is one of those flavors that metamorphizes the longer you allow it to savor on your tongue.

Red cherry starting out and then that leads in to a beautiful nuanced blood orange from there.

Orym of the Air Ashari | Critical Role

[halfling_dad]

1. Am I tried or drunk sometimes it's hard to tell.

2. Being the one brain cell is a burden but at least we are still alive.

3. My dry spell has had a dry spell..is sex still a thing or am I just lucky.

4. TEXT HIM.

2

[ipreferspooky]

I agree that being the only member of a group with a functioning brain is a burden, but so is being alive.

Rainier Lutz | D&D OC

[teddybearpicnic]

1. I don't think I have the right qualifications for Manwhore Monday.

2. He offered me certain 'favors' for putting together a complicated piece of furniture, is this really an acceptable form of bartering?

3. EVERYONE GET ON THE FLOOR AND DO THE FROGSTOMP!!!!!

4. Molotov cocktail? What molotov cocktail?

5. Penis jello molds seemed like a good idea at the time--

6. And here I'll show you how to make a do-it-yourself flamethrower, all involving things that you can find at home!

7. Dude, I think that the possessed demon teddy bear just licked his maw at me. Chalk me up as terrified.

+text him!

6

[ipreferspooky]

I have three of those at home, but I can show you how to assemble a steam-powered guillotine, if you're interested.

Ol' Jericho Sticks | Legends of Avantris: Edge of Midnight

[mostfolkdo]

[ ooc: still working my way through the campaign... please no spoilers for anything beyond episode 6! ]

1. Remind me to tell you what I found stuck to me this morning.
   
   
2. Well, golly! That was the most beautifully crafted sentence I've ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever."
   
   
3. Based on the conversation, I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal. When did it start going awry? Was it when you fell through the roof?
   
   
4. I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just laughed for three straight minutes. In the second, you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Did you have fun last night?
   
   
5. And I'll be dreaming of you! Not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way.
   
   
6. I told Virgil about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
   
   
7. text him!

3 hello!

[alwaysaid]

If Briggsy hadn't fired his weapon I never would have been startled in the first place!

Noctis Lucis Caelum | Final Fantasy XV

[chosenkingoflucis]

1. This is not my ceiling

2. I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.

3. I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me

4. I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever

5. You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.

6. About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money

7. Text him!

6

[ipreferspooky]

I'm afraid that you've picked the wrong person to bail you out.

I'm no good for that.

[mooglebow]

1. how did you set a fucking salad on fire????

2. Me to my fiancé the night before our wedding: we still on for tomorrow??

3. Your word of the day is 'quafftide', a one-word announcement that it's time for a drink.

4. The only thing Caius asked us was "how are you still alive?"

5. I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little. It was more like he was wearing a backpack.

6. text her!

2

[heroofcocoon]

You thinking of backing out? Kinda late for that, isn't it?